Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He better not be in your backpack
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
