Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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