Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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