i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
