I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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