If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
