You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Randomize