ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
