He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
