Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
