Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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