If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Randomize
