my vag is so smooth its legendary
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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