i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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