the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
