I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
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