He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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