Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
