If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
