Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
