you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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