Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
