i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
