i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
