The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
