So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
