Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
