She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize