This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize