nut hugger
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
