C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
