Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
