I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
