Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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