You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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