I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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