she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
