the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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