He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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