no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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