wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize