Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
