They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
