hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
