He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
