honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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