hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
