please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
There's always time for handjobs
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
