i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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