So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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