He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize