was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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