ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize