I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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