Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
