it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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