my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
