After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize