just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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