Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize