Nicole vs. Life
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
