The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
