Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize