Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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