i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
