WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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