we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
