i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
