Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
