I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
