i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
