pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
