He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
