farters have to be the big spoon...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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