I accidentally burped into my bong.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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