Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
