I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
