I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
